I'm reading a little book right now, a chapter a day, for my devotions. It's not a new book. I've seen it around many times and have had it in my library forever. It's called "The Practice of the Presence of God." In this book are conversations with and letters from a monk who lived around 350 years ago. The content of the book is not earth shattering. I dare say it would seem radical to some, but it is a great reminder to me to simplify and reduce my focus down to just loving God continually and intentionally.

Now I am one of the last people who would ever recommend living by your feelings or even living in such a way as to try to conjure up some kind of feeling or sensation. And the term "the presence of God" seems to indicate experience somehow connected to our feelings. Faith goes beyond feelings, but it doesn't exclude or invalidate experience. Faith and truth help us interpret our senses and bring us solid footing so that we are not seduced by feelings into areas, addictions and activities that are bad for us and bad for others, including God. Feelings are incredible, but can be a dangerous drug to those who want them at any cost. An awareness, perhaps, might be a better word. Awareness can run the gamut of actual sensations or have no sensation at all and still be there - still be aware.

My sense of awareness, and I would be hard pressed to try to describe it, of the presence of God goes back to my earliest memories. I remember as a child, laying in bed and feeling the arms of the Father encircle and embrace me. It's not a memory of a certain instance, but an ongoing memory, like something that I was accustomed to. There is no special age when I remember it starting. I was seven when I made a conscious decision to follow Jesus, yet this feeling goes back further than that. By seven I had experienced the divorce of my parents and suffered a burn that should have killed me. Yet, I was an incredibly happy child. A dreamy and distracted child. As if my sensibilities were attuned, perhaps, to a slightly different frequency. If I am not vigilant to stay focused on what I'm doing and who I'm talking to I can be a very dreamy and distracted adult. The truth is, I cannot remember a time that I did not have a sense of The Presence.

Today, at 53, I have an incredibly full and busy life. Activity and responsibility fill every waking moment and more. I'm a singer - a musician. You would think that I would want an environment full of music and sound and yet I prefer the silence and the wee hours of the morning because in the quiet, before the day begins for others, all I need to do is let go of whatever it is I'm thinking or doing. In the briefest of moments I am aware that the undercurrent is still there. The air is slightly charged. Perhaps the slightest of caresses against my cheek. An invisible hand placed lightly on my shoulder. That oh so familiar embrace. He is there. He has been here every moment. He is here right now. This is not the kind of faith that believes in what it cannot prove. This is real awareness. I don't have to practice that presence. I don't even have to try for it or reach forit. All I must do is stop whatever it is I'm doing, breathe and lift my spiritual face again to receive those most wonderful of kisses. Out of this love everything flows. From Him, to Him, for Him. That indescribable Presence.